Tilly, aged 12

Recognising the impact…

Fostering does naturally impact the lives of birth children, and this can be challenging at times including when having to share their belongings and parents’ time. Some of our children have also found it hard to say goodbye when the time comes, and they can find the period when new children are settling in occasionally tricky.

However, at Foster Portsmouth the wellbeing of our foster carers’ children remains paramount, and we work hard to ensure a good match for all the family as well as the child looking for a caring home.

Birth children are included in the fostering process, and are kept informed how and in what ways they are likely to be affected. Training and age appropriate advice is also available for them, as well as peer and other foster family support if they are part of one of our pioneering Mockingbird constellations.

Fostering enriches lives…

Birth children also benefit from growing up in a fostering household and regularly report back about how fostering enriches their lives by gaining social skills, learning about different upbringings and cultures, changing lives for the better, and often building lifelong friendships.

Some of our birth children also share that they like meeting new people, particularly enjoying making them laugh, like having another sibling, and take pleasure in having a positive impact on their lives.

15-year-old Tilly continued: “They join the family almost. It’s just like a sibling. We took a foster lad to Centre Parcs one time for a little holiday. It was so nice to see how happy he was and enjoying time with the family. It’s just really lovely.”

“They leave their mark…”

“The hardest part is saying goodbye. You get attached. Even with someone you’ve only known for a few weeks, they leave a mark. We talk a lot as a family and I write. Sometimes I write letters to the kids after they leave, even if I never send them. It really helps.”

“The funniest part was one little boy who thought our dog was a tiny horse and tried to ride him. The dog was not impressed!”

Transforming other children’s lives…

Children of Foster Carers’ Week was created by the UK’s leading fostering charity, The Fostering Network. They have said: “It enables us to raise awareness of the important role birth children play within fostering arrangements. It also allows us to show our appreciation of their commitment to fostering and help transforming other children’s lives.”

The annual awareness event also helps us at Foster Portsmouth to ensure that each child whose parents foster knows quite how valuable their contribution is to the success of fostering and how much this is appreciated by the fostering community.

Tilly concluded: “My advice to others would be not to underestimate your role. You might not be the foster carer, but you’re part of the team. You’re showing someone what a safe, loving home is like.”

“The best part is seeing someone smile again. Knowing you are part of that healing is magic.”

You could do it too…

The council welcomes all enquiries about fostering. This could be a short or long term arrangement for a child or siblings until they’re ready to live independently or be reunited with family, support for children seeking safety and asylum or children with additional needs, Supported Lodgings to develop their independent living skills, parent and baby placements, or respite care.

Anyone aged 21+ with a spare bedroom could foster with Foster Portsmouth regardless of their age, gender, faith, ethnicity, sexuality, marital or work status, or whether they rent or own their own home.

To enquire about fostering with Foster Portsmouth, or to arrange a 1:1 with one of our experienced team or existing foster carers, please contact us.

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Tilly first shared her experiences with us a few years ago. Read the story of her younger experiences: https://foster.portsmouth.gov.uk/celebrating-the-vital-role-of-children-who-foster.