At Foster Portsmouth, we believe that fostering is for everyone with the capacity to care, support, and nurture a child; regardless of age or background. One of our long-standing foster carers, Paul, exemplifies this belief through his journey of fostering whilst living with a disability.
A decade of dedication
Paul, now 66, has been fostering for over ten years alongside his wife. Their journey began after a life-changing event. Paul suffered a stroke at the age of 47, which left him with significant physical challenges, including limited use of his left arm and leg. Despite this, Paul and his wife resumed their fostering application, determined to make a difference.
Together, they’ve offered a wide range of fostering arrangements, including emergency, respite, short term, and long-term care. Currently, they offer short term care for a young person with autism.
There are many types of fostering and everyone will be able to find one that’s the right fit for them. This could be a short or long-term arrangement for a child or siblings until they’re ready to live independently or be reunited with family, support for children with a disability or children seeking safety and asylum, Supported Lodgings to develop their independent living skills, a parent and baby arrangement, or respite care.
Paul’s disability hasn’t held him back; it’s become a source of strength and a teaching tool for the children in their care.
“Disability can hinder you physically, but it can also show children resilience. Just because something is difficult, doesn’t mean you can’t get on with life.”
Living with disability and purpose
Paul’s stroke had a profound impact on his life. He had to leave his job in the MOD police, move house, and adapt to new limitations. But he didn’t let it define him. He went on to work in various roles and even carried the Olympic torch in 2012 as part of the Paralympic games.
“You think it’ll never happen to you; but it did. My mum told me, ‘Don’t sit at home feeling sorry for yourself. Get out into the world and continue with life.'”
Paul’s story is one of perseverance. He continues to work on his recovery, going to the gym regularly and playing golf one-handed three times a week. His determination is a powerful example to the children he fosters, showing them that setbacks can be overcome.
Challenges and adaptations
Fostering with a disability does come with challenges. Paul is honest about the limitations; he can’t safely care for babies due to balance issues, and he’s cautious about arrangements involving children with a history of running away from carers. But he and his wife work as a team, with his wife handling paperwork and Paul taking on driving duties using a specially adapted steering device.
“We adapt. I’m the taxi driver, and my wife does the paperwork. The children often want to help too; one lad used to carry the coffee for me when we went to Costa. It gave him a sense of purpose.”
Support and inclusion
Foster Portsmouth offer foster carers competitive fees and allowances for each child in their care, a bespoke training programme and 24/7 support, access to our mentoring scheme and the award-winning Mockingbird model of care, discounts and benefits, social activities, and free membership to The Fostering Network.
Paul, who continues to work as an 111 emergency call operator alongside fostering, has benefited from training and support from Portsmouth City Council and is looking forward to a workshop about working with teenagers in January. He’s also experienced the emotional impact of facing an allegation, which affected his confidence. Still, he remains committed and encourages others to enter fostering with eyes wide open.
“I’ve never met another foster carer with a disability. I’d love to see more representation and know how many of us are out there.”
Reflections and growth
Fostering has taught Paul patience and gratitude. He’s learned to understand and support children who come from difficult backgrounds, and he’s seen how fostering can positively influence both the child and the carer.
“It makes you think about your own childhood and life. You feel grateful. You learn patience; not just with the children, but in everyday life.”
Fostering is for everyone
Paul’s story is a testament to the fact that fostering can be inclusive and adaptable. With the right support and mindset, people living with disabilities can offer safe, loving, and enriching homes to children in need.
Anyone aged 21+ with a spare bedroom could foster with Foster Portsmouth regardless of their age, gender, faith, ethnicity, sexuality, marital or work status, or whether they rent or own their own home.
If you’re considering fostering and want to speak to someone with lived experience, Paul is happy to share his journey. His message is clear: life may kick you in the teeth, but you can get over it, and you can help others do the same.
To enquire about fostering with Foster Portsmouth, or to arrange a 1:1 with one of our experienced team or existing foster carers, please contact us.
